March was Women’s History Month and I’m happy to say that I participated in a big way! A few big ways, actually!
I was asked to design the Anaheim Ducks Women in Sports Night (WIS) merch for their March 24th WIS game. This time around, after doing a fun mini Pride collection for them, I wanted to take a more serious route. I was extremely sick when they first asked me to do the collection, and I had fever dreams about not being able to come up with something “good enough.” As a genderqueer person, I was not confident that I was even the correct person for this job, as I don’t always see myself strictly as a “woman.” However, I had such great reception from the Pride night items, I knew my job here was to get that door open for myself so that I could hold it open for others later.
These were a few of my original designs, the first of which the Ducks actually chose. In the end, I think they wanted to go a more colorful and playful route, which was fine. Men’s hockey might not be ready to make such a big splash just yet - but hey, at least we can take solace in the fact that these kinds of words, phrases, and designs are being shown to professional NHL teams! They are existing in these spaces! Queer and inclusive designs are being brought to the threshold of the NHL and they are being told “WE WANT THIS.”
It’s important for my womanhood and feminism to include inclusivity and intersectionality, which was my main focus behind the first few things I designed. I worked with my discord which is 100% women/genderqueer/trans and asked for their input. When I shared the other options with my customers, we all agreed that the first one was the one we want to see on a shirt in the future.
And don’t worry friends, there will be other opportunities for me to use these designs, whether with the Ducks (or another professional team or league) or just by myself, in the future!
The WIS weekend the Ducks held was incredible. It featured Annie Camins from the PWHL, the governor of the LA Lakers, Jeanie Buss, Mackenzie Dern, Helene Elliott and Denise White and many more incredible women. It was hosted by the Ducks' own Aly Lozoff and Alexis Downie.
It was the first time I felt like I really belonged somewhere within sport and hockey. It was the first time I got to showcase who I was in my femininity and what my beliefs were. I made so many great connections that I’m still holding dear presently, a lot of wonderful people I hope to work with locally soon!
Aly Lozoff actually told me that any time she felt nervous and got off track she’d just look at me in the front row and I would ground her because she said my energy was so happy and infectious and she could “always count on me to be smiling.” Can you imagine being told that by the world’s most smiley rink-side reporter!?
Jeremy Langer and Annie Camins of the PWHL - both loved the "Too Many Men" beanie!
The game night itself was really fun (even though we lost!) and I think the design I made did do well to the people who understood it, although it didn’t make as big of an impact as I hoped. I think maybe just being able to design something for this kind of event will inspire people, even if it didn’t have the most inspiring message like I’d originally wanted. Not everything I make for DHS or the Ducks has to be extremely meaningful and impactful, but there are definitely certain things I want to be, and this was one of them. 
Wheel Snipe Cellys, to me, is such a "FERDA" (For The) BOYS" stereotypical hockey mentality and my thought process behind using these words specifically was that I just wanted to showcase that women can do this shit too! And have fun with it! That's why the design is fun, colorful, nods to the nostalgia of the Mighty Ducks (And the women of those teams, thank you very much!)You can have your FERDA, but we're going to get ours, too!
I do have to say, as we make progress and make room in hockey and in the sport world for women, there is still a lot of work to do. I waited all day for the Ducks to post my products as the “Item of the Game” on their Instagram or Twitter like they did on Pride Night, and it never came. My partner waited tirelessly every intermission of the game to record the jumbotron for them to put up my designs for the “Item of the Game” like they do for Violent Gentlemen each game. It never came. There was never a mention that they asked me to design the products for them, and there was minimal signage to explain the design, who I was, why I was chosen, and what the design meant. When I brought this to the attention of the wonderful women I worked with within the organization, they were regretful and essentially said it had been out of their control.
At the end of the day, I was reminded of who runs things around the NHL - Men.
I thank the Ducks for their time and efforts in working with me AND believe they can do better next time with their featured creators. I will do my hardest to speak up and advocate for myself and help make that happen whether it’s me or another creator!
If you'd like to support me and purchase the tee shirt or crew neck, they are still available at the Anaheim Ducks Team Store and Online
Shirt
Crew neck
But that wasn’t the only event I participated in! Just 5 days later, I flew to Seattle to sponsor the Seattle Women’s Hockey Club in their Puck Place Market Women’s Hockey Tournament. I worked with the most wonderful people to sponsor the event and while they were organizing it in February I just decided to shoot my shot and ask if I could vend. Did I have product? No. Did I have a plan? No. Did I have money or resources? No. But I wouldn’t need any of those things if they said no, right?
Well, they said YES! A very enthusiastic yes, and they accommodated me immediately. It was such a surreal feeling to know that I was wanted in a space like that.
Over the next few weeks, I booked a hotel, flight, rental car, (and secured tickets for the Anaheim Ducks/Seattle Kraken pride night game, because - duh!) and found a local printer to make me product very rapidly (Shoutout to Craft Works Printing in Anaheim!)
By the time I went to Seattle I felt good about my small offerings of products for my first vending venture with DHS. But the people there made me feel so at home, so needed, so wanted! Like I was apart of a TEAM! It was just the most beautiful experience.
Almost everyone asked if I played or if I was going to play hockey. (And they were absolutely appalled if I said no - by the end of my weekend I had to adjust my response so as to not get looks of sheer horror). They wanted to know my story, where I was from, how I started the brand. And to my surprise, there were people who came to the event to see me! I had customers in Seattle who knew I was coming and came to the Ice Plex just to say hi! There were a few people who came up to me WEARING MY PRODUCT ALREADY. I sold out of one design completely. I was told I was important. I was told the brand mattered. I was given a handwritten letter that said “I’m glad you’re here.” It was all so wonderfully overwhelming and very surreal!
It was the first time I had to pause and take a step back and say “Okay, I guess people do get what I’m doing here, what changes I’m trying to make within this abusive and oppressive system of sport. Double Hockey Stix matters to people.”
My time in Seattle with the SWHC inspired me so much that I came home and got to work on my next project (which isn’t ready to be revealed to the world just yet), and encouraged me to look for more local events, because as much as I love traveling to vend, it’s just not financially responsible for how new my brand is right now. I’ve secured a vending spot for a San Diego event later this summer, as well as for a Women’s & Queer league in Portland in July!
I must admit, getting this all rolling was really difficult for me mentally. I was suffering with undiagnosed PMDD and got diagnosed and treatment all within designing this collection for the Ducks as well as preparing for the Seattle tournament. Alongside this, I was inquiring with different Men’s Tournaments and Gay leagues about vending and sponsoring other events and was met with either outright “No’s” or no response. I even had an event tell me they had too much support for a Pride event. Too much support. In the sport that banned Pride Tape.
Alrighty.
I’m forever thankful for the women and 2SLGBTQIA+ communities that have embraced me, and understand what this brand is about, and although I am trying to have FUN, I have a huge mission behind all that I do, which is to make the space more inclusive for all, which has proven difficult between the “No’s” and the lack of responses from certain groups who are supposed to be allies or adjacent to the work I'm doing.
I guess, at the end of the day, if you can’t get into a space you see yourself in - you need to create it….